How Shepard Changed My Life
by FeZeTh13
Summary: Companion piece to Jane Shepard: This is my life' but can read by itself. After the first death of Shepard, each of her squad think of how she impacted each of their lives. Will give insight to the whole of ME1 story arc from the squad pov, each character giving a little more insight into who Shepard was and her decisions. This is their memories of their mission with Shepard.
1. Ashley's story

_**Greetings! This was originally a part of Jane Shepard: This is my Story, but the flow of the storyline confused readers so I decided to make it a companion piece instead. These should go up fairly quickly since I have them all written and most typed. **_

_**Each squad member will have a chapter of their memories with their journey with Shepard and it is based as if after her death at the beginning of ME2. Each chapter should give in more and different insight into who Shepard was and what her adventures and decisions in ME1 were.**_

_**Sorry for the long Author Note, I just wanted to explain what this is. Bioware owns the Mass Effect Universe!**_

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**Ashley:**

The Commander saved my life. If Shepard hadn't shown up on Eden Prime when she did, I may have joined the rest of my squad. I could see the understanding in her eyes when we talked about losing my squad. Akuze I guess.

She saved Kaidan from the Beacon. Which was incredibly lucky for him, because he wouldn't have been able to survive the encounter with all the Prothean information the Commander had to deal with after the Beacon exploded. I was honored when Shepard let me join the Normandy. I just couldn't believe how many aliens Shepard accepted aboard.

Shepard and I fought over the aliens. She was on their side though, and even though Pressely and I had our concerns, she told us to suck it up and let past prejudices go. They were her crew, her friends, and she trusted them. I slowly began to understand her point of view when we went on missions together. They were all loyal to the mission, to her, and incredibly good on the battle field. I worked with Tali on Feros and Garrus on the Citadel against Saren. I may not have agreed on having aliens on an Alliance ship… but these I could trust and become friends with... of a sort. When the Skipper is right, she's right.

Shepard and I talked about family sometimes. Mostly it came up because mine was so important to me, and Skipper could tell, so she asked quite often how they were doing. Especially with my youngest sister, Sarah. Shepard was happy for my family and she even once told me she was a little jealous. Said that she wished she had someone to share that bond with. She told me a little of her time growing up on Earth. It certainly didn't sound easy, but she told me she wouldn't have it any other way. 'My life on Earth started me on this path. I very much like the path I am on. Maybe not how the mission has turned so dire with the galaxy depending on us, but working with this crew, this squad, the Normandy. I would say that all the hard crap I put up with was worth it. I wouldn't change a thing.' She said it with a sincere smile. I am proud to have served under her.

She also didn't hold me back from anything because of the name I carry. 'Your Grandfather had no choice. I don't condemn his actions, and I am not going to judge you based off his dossier. I have seen you in action Williams. You deserve better than the Alliance has given you. You're a good soldier.'

She also avoided talking about Akuze. Well, unless I asked a question. Like when Kaidan died. She didn't tell me to get over it, and to move on. She said you take it and you do better, make every life count and save all that you can. It may not always work out how you hoped, but you honor the memory of the ones lost, and make sure they are never forgotten. I still can't believe she chose me to save. I could see the tortured look in her eyes, but I still lashed out at her. She looked pretty pissed and told me not to die a martyr to try to clear my family's name. Told me it wasn't my fault, that she was the one who made the decision, so it was all on her shoulders. I was with the Salarians, and she wanted to save them too.

I thought she and Anderson lost their minds when they came up with the idea to steal the Normandy. Skipper had this crazy smirk on her face and this gleam in her eye. I think she was just too happy to tell the council and Udina that they could all go to hell, by stealing the Normandy. I knew Shepard was right, we had to do this even if we all got court-martialed.

Ilos was an amazing place, all that history. Liara was jealous afterwards. She wanted to go back, but the place was infested with Geth. I thought we were going to die when we took the Mako through the Relay. She really was incredibly insane.

Running on the outside of the Citadel was actually… terrifying. Having Sovereign right there and having to dodge its legs while fighting Geth- now that is an adventure I never want to repeat. Then the fight with Saren wasn't even a fight. She talked him down. Though the implants Soveriegn gave Saren made things incredibly difficult when he took control of his body. I have never seen Shepard look so furious and she felt such deep sorrow and pity for Saren afterwords. I don't understand why. I thought we were all going to die when Sovereigns leg came crashing through the window. We managed to survive; Shepard got us out of the way.

She saved the council. I should have expected it. Garrus agreed with her. I disagreed with them both. Humanity needed to survive this. She saved the Council anyway, saying this was bigger than humanity. Humanity has the trust of the many different races now. I didn't see how saving the Council would help, but we even got a seat on the Council.

I returned to Shepard's command and have continued to serve with the Alliance since... the Normandy went down. I will do what I can to honor her hard work.


	2. Liara's thoughts

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**Liara**

I hadn't known the woman who walked into the ruins with a Turian and a male human. All I knew is that the tunnels were filled with Geth and a Krogan Battlemaster. And I was trapped. She didn't hand me over to Saren's forces though. While I cowered in a corner, she fought them ferociously, protecting me, and commanding her squad with effeciancy.

Shepard made sure everyone made it out of the mine before it collapsed. I of course accepted right away when she asked me to join her squad. I didn't know what to expect, I had not had any interactions with humans before, but with her personality I was quickly learning to like her.

The joining with Shepard once we were on the ship left me exhausted, though Shepard seemed fine. She seemed a little more fidgety though. She actually listened to me as I blathered on about my Prothean Research. She was the first person to ever take me seriously and didn't take my youth into account. I think that is because the humans didn't quite understand how young I was according to Asari standards and put me into their human equivalent.

The Beacon's information was astounding. Shepard was incredibly strong willed to have survived the encounter. In truth I wanted to probe all of it for as much information as I could, because neither of us could understand the Beacon's message. When I told Shepard about how I wished to thoroughly study her and her visions, she looked at me like I was crazy and said that it sounded like I wanted to dissect her as a science project. I learned how to watch what I was going to say from then on. I did not want anyone to be offended because I have not been in many social situations. Ruins and history are so much easier.

I… watched her. On missions, on the ship, her interactions with the crew. She was different from all the other humans. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but she was intriguing in a way I had never felt before. I couldn't help but develop feelings for her.

I embarrassed myself quite a number of times, but Shepard never made me feel stupid about my blunders. Well, not until she told me she was not interested in pursuing a relationship with me. By the Goddess I have never felt so dense. Even then she was incredibly kind about it, but made it very clear.

She still came to see me and continued talking to me. I remember seeing her defend me when the crew and even the Council started questioning my loyalty because of the situation with my mother.

My mother… oh Benezia. Shepard didn't want me to go, to witness my mother's insanity and death. She relented however when I practically dropped to my knees and begged her. Facing my mother was incredibly difficult. Being able to talk to her, to hear her say she loved me, and see that she was fighting against the indoctrination… it brought me the peace and closure I sought. Shepard was there for me; a shoulder for me to cry on, if I just needed space, or someone to talk to, she was there. I have never had a friend as sincere and earnest as her.

I didn't get to see the wonders of Ilos. So much Prothean history and knowledge, even a VI! I had sincerely wished she had taken me, though I can see why she didn't. I would have been too distracted.

We defeated Saren and Sovereign. I was on the Normandy and helped where I could. I was a little surprised she saved the Council since they gave us no help and she was furious with them, but it suited her to think of the big picture for the galaxy.

After the battle I asked to stay aboard the Normandy. Shepard agreed.


	3. Wrex

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_**Thank you to those who have alerted!**_

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**WREX**

Shepard was pissed. Fist might have surrendered, but I had a job to finish and I never leave a job half-done. I told her I was going to kill him, she should have listened. Shepard may have been squishy, but she was a damn good fighter. I knew I would enjoy the hunt for the rogue Spectre Saren.

I was dragged along on most of the smaller missions. Needed a wall of muscle, biotics, and shotgun she said. She really liked her shotgun. I almost think she kept count of kills we got and made it a competition. I heard her counting under her breath a number of times. When that first Thresher Maw that sprung from the ground, she didn't scream like I expected. No, she handed the wheel over to the Turian and jumped on the canon. If that Maw had seen her face, it would have run off like a scared Pyjak. She knew what she was doing too. Must have had something to do with Akuze. Another thing with Akuze we ran into; that Cerberus scientist and found out she wasn't the last surviving Marine. I still think she should have let the man kill the scientist. She told him to let him go, told me later it was so the bastard could be questioned on what exactly had been done. They kept her out of the interrogation room when she asked to go in. She was pissed then too.

She actually found my armor, ugly specimen it is. But it is mine. She freed the Rachni Queen too, from what Liara told me. I still think she is crazy. Hope it doesn't come back to bite us in the ass later.

She bothered me about my life, told me to tell her of my adventures. I indulged her. She actually listened though, but didn't bother with that emotional crap a lot of species have. We did have a good laugh when I told her of that Asari I chased. Made me wonder where she is now.

Virmire. I hadn't been that angry since my father betrayed me, and there she was destroying the cure for my people. I didn't understand how she could betray me, especially after she had become enraged about the Genophage solution.

'This is no cure Wrex! Its slavery! A real cure will mean freedom! This is an insult to your people, and if you let this stand you will be betraying what you, yourself believe in. I'm on your side Wrex. This isn't the way.' She had persuaded me, talking me down. It was shameful that she had to give me a lesson in what she had been teaching that Turian since he boarded the Normandy. Do it the right way, not the fast way.

We got to talk to that Reaper, Sovereign. That was fun. Seeing Shepard recieve more information from that Beacon wasn't. Those Salarians are made of tougher stuff than I thought. She was really beat up about losing Kaidan. Couldn't blame her, and it seemed to put a fire in her eyes and made her more determined to kill Saren. I almost thought we had the Turian on Virmire, with how angry she was. But he got away. Pissed her off even more. Lot of rage for a little human, but Shepard was no ordinary human.

The encounter on Virmire made me think about my people; our place in the galaxy, our traditions, and finding a real cure for the Genophage. Shepard once asked why our Krogan scientists hadn't found a cure. I laughed. Haha, Krogan don't have scientists, we have guns.

I wasn't brought along to Feros, Noveria, or Ilos. I did help the crew though, well as much as they would let me on the Normandy. Fired the guns a couple of times in the Battle of the Citadel.

Why she saved that Council I won't ever understand. Not the Krogan way, but it suited her.

After we had our names honored and shared a drink at the local bar, we parted ways. Shepard was a good friend.


	4. Tali's Memories

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**Tali**

I will always be grateful I found that data on Saren. I will forever be grateful Shepard showed up when she did. I may have been able to handle a gun, but I was scared. Garrus and I were the two Shepard chose to see the council and provide the evidence to convict Saren. When I asked why she chose us and not the humans to accompany her, she almost laughed. 'You found the evidence Tali'Zorah and guarded it with your life. Vakarian was the C-sec officer who had this case, and he helped me find you. You two deserve to see your hard work rewarded.'

I asked to join her on the Normandy, and she accepted my request. I have never seen a drive core fit in that small a ship! It is the most amazing ship I have ever seen, even if it was incredibly quiet. At first I was nervous, being on a human Alliance vessel, but the engineers were so very welcoming. Shepard told me once that Engineer Adams was incredibly impressed with me and my knowledge with ships. I was incredibly embarrassed and Shepard said she could see my blushing through my mask. Said my helmet turned another color or something.

Shepard had a great amount of patience with me. Especially when I talked about the tech and the ship. I knew she didn't always understand what I was talking about, but she listened to me and was interested in what I had to say.

I will admit I was incredibly naïve. Shepard never treated me like a child though. She would just explain, and depending on the topic, would either smile or be disgusted. She hated Xenophobia, injustice, crime, and betrayal. 'I'm going to make the galaxy a better place for everyone.' She had said with a smile and a determined glint in her eye. Maybe it was stubbornness, I don't know, but she usually had a glint in her eye.

Shepard asked me about the Flotilla and was genuinely interested. A lot of species can only see Quarians as vagrants, or unimportant, or just the creators of the Geth. That was not true of Shepard. She had a lot of questions for me, about my family, father, and layout of our government. I once asked her about her family. She kind of got this look on her face, and told me she grew up an Orphan on Earth. She wouldn't let me feel bad for her though, said she looks back on her life and wouldn't be where she is now, if she had lived another life. We continued to talk though, and she shared some of her stories from her childhood with me. Her holidays seem like fun, and so did her dance classes.

She also wanted to fully understand the way of our Pilgrimage. I finally found out that the Pilgrimage is to help you appreciate the Flotilla and the entire fleet, like a family. Shepard said she thought that was an incredibly brilliant idea to keep peace, variety, and a sense of home among the fleet.

I was a little shocked when she disagreed with me about the Geth. Shepard said that any species would attack if their very existence was threatened. She said it was self-defense, and the Quarians shouldn't have attacked. She just doesn't understand. She was very nice about it, but she just can't understand what it means to be taken from your home world.

I still received the data on the Geth that Shepard found. She saved a copy for me before she sent it to the Alliance, so I could finish my Pilgrimage. I also accompanied Shepard to Feros because of my knowledge of the Geth. Ashley and I were worried about Shepard when Shiala gave her the Prothean Cipher. She said she was fine, but later told me that she really just didn't like the 'embrace eternity' the Asari kept saying she needed. Heehee, she said that she is afraid to talk to anymore Asari, they all seem to want 'embrace eternity' with her. In the name of knowledge of course.

I found a really good friend in Shepard and I trusted her with my life. I wasn't taken to Ilos, but I did get to help the engineers in the attack against Sovereign.

I stayed with Shepard aboard the Normandy when I heard they were going to be going after the last remnant of Geth resistance. I decided I could wait a while longer before I went back to the fleet.


	5. Garrus Remembers

_**Bioware owns the Mass Effect Universe! Garrus is Shepard's best friend! Please leave me a review and tell me what you think!**__** Kaidan is next chapter! **_  


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**Garrus**

She couldn't convince the Council that Saren was guilty the first time. No fault of hers, I didn't have enough time for my investigation. The next time we met I didn't make the best decision and Shepard let me know it. "You don't endanger civilians!" I made sure Dr. Michel was alright, and then we went for the Quarian who had a lead on Saren.

We had different methods, but Shepard got the job done. I watched her become a Spectre after we got the evidence with the help of Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. I joined her crew. There was no doubt in my mind that we would be able to catch Saren.

I was amazed we were able to become friends so fast. She took me on almost every mission and would talk to me every day. We talked about C-sec, my father, Spectres, our past, and eventually Dr. Saleon. She found the twisted Salarian but when confronting him, she wouldn't let me shoot him. At least not until Saleon shot first. I couldn't help but ask her what the point was. "You don't know how people are going to react, but you can choose how you react. You do things the right way, not the fast way."

That topic came up over and over again, and even if we didn't talk about it, I saw her living the principle. I saw potentially dangerous situations be settled peacefully because of her negotiations. She always tried to keep everyone safe and save all she could.

I also watched her almost break after Virmire. The conversation with Sovereign, leaving Kaidan, and then fighting Saren, it all took a toll on her. I found her asleep by the Mako and took her to bed that night. She always did push herself too hard.

When I found out about her involvement with the Red's I was shocked and a little confused. She didn't give into the demands of her old gang though and told them she wasn't going to play their stupid game. She made them leave the Citadel and didn't let herself be involved in anything else with them. When I asked her about why she had been in a gang, she told me just a little bit of how and why she joined them and then how she escaped that life. I didn't know she came from a background of such difficulty, she didn't let it become public information. She had always hated the gang apparently, but saw no other option until the Alliance caught her attention.

She took me to Ilos. Apparently humans don't take orders as well as Turians. Then again I have always been a bad Turian and completely agreed with her taking the Normandy and stopping Saren. I was impressed when she managed to convince the whole of the Normandy crew to accompany her. I thought we were going to die in that Mako though. She had already talked to that Prothean VI, Vigil. We were all shocked to hear the news of the Reapers and the fates of the Protheans. The idea that the Reapers had created the technology of the Citadel so they could come harvest our galaxy after an ideal time, sent a chill and fury down our spines. She was always a crazy driver in the Mako, but I really didn't want to experience a relay jump in one. Guess Ashley, Shepard, and I all have something special to put on our list of accomplishments.

So many obstacles stood in our way once we reached the Citadel. The husks, Geth, Krogan, and eventually dodging the legs of Sovereign while we walked outside of the Citadel tower to get to the Council chambers was all so interesting. Not at the time, of course.

Managing to talk down Saren, I found that she really wanted to save him after everything he had done. She really was one of a kind. She then decided to save the Council after all the crap they put her through. Saren was taken over by Sovereign because of his implants and Shepard did her best to shield the two of us, which totally messed with my plan of shielding and protecting her. We laughed about it later, but she felt such sorrow for Saren. It was… incredibly odd and different.

We went out for drinks after the battle. She told me that I was the 'Scarecrow' to her 'Dorothy.' Apparently that meant she was going to miss me the most. She said I was her closest friend. I was honored and tried to tell her the same, but am just too awkward with that kind of stuff. Hope she knew. Before we parted ways I told her that if she needs help kicking ass, to just give me a call.


	6. Kaidan, The Guardian

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_**I felt really sad writing this one. I like Kaidan as a friend, not a romance option. He just isn't my of Shepard's type and I love Thane too much to romance anyone else. He and my Shepard were really good friends and she wishes he could have been by her side the whole mission. This is my opinion of what Kaidan would be doing for the duration of the game. I hope you enjoy it and please review to let me know what you think!  
**_

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**Kaidan**

I saw her, watched her as she continued her journey without me by her side. She always watched out for her people, fighting to make sure they would survive. She had been upset with the deaths of Nihlus and Jenkins. I could see it in her eyes, though she didn't make a show of it.

But then she left me on Virmire. I never held it against her. How could anyone make a decision like that? She had stayed connected to me, talking to me and listening to me over the comm until the bomb went off. She didn't want me to be alone in my final moments. She told me I was important and would make sure I lived on in her memory and would see that I was honored in the Alliance and Council chambers.

I had been grateful to her. After misreading her attentions, and thinking she was attracted to me, she kindly let my down. "We both deserve someone who will love us without having to hold anything back. Your loyalty to the Alliance is something to be admired, but you need a woman outside the uniform." She had been right. The Alliance and the Council could have separated us and she said she wanted me to be truly happy with nothing in the way. I thought she would stay away from me after that, but she valued our friendship and we conversed, practiced our biotics, and went on missions together.

I watched as she brought down Saren and put Anderson on the Council. I watched as the Council sent her to fight Geth and ignore the Reaper threat.

I wanted to warn her. Warn Joker. But I could not.

I watched as the Normandy was attacked by creatures thought long gone, working for the Reapers. I was not surprised when she went back for Joker, put him in the escape pod, and used her last act to push the button that would save Jokers life and forsake her own. Even in her last breathes, she struggled against all odds, until she came to peace believing it would be worth it. She died flying into the planet below.

I stood at the entrance, ready to welcome her to my new home and now would be hers as well. Her spirit was intercepted as it crossed the open sun and waves. I cried out for her, but could not go to her. So still, could I only watch her as her destiny played out before her and the universe. I will watch her and lend her my strength when able.

Then I watched her open her eyes…


	7. Squad Reactions

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_**These are the thoughts and actions of the squad ater Shepards death on the Normandy. Thanks to those who faved and alerted!**_

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**In Honor of Her**

**Tali**

Everything was on fire and I was scared something would puncture my suit. I found Liara on the way to the Escape Pods and we boarded together, Engineer Adams right behind me. Eventually the Alliance came and rescued all the survivors. I was sick in medbay when I found out Shepard hadn't made it. I cried. I had never cried so much in my life. I returned home after her funeral. I hoped I could be as good a leader as my friend Jane Shepard had been to me.

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**Wrex**

I was on Tuchanka establishing myself as Urdnot Clan Leader when I heard of the Normandy. Dead. Killed by an unknown enemy, saving the pilot. I went to her funeral. Gave her a small token of Clan Urdnot to show respect. I decided I would take what I learned on Virmire and change to lot of the Krogan.

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**Liara**

I am hunting him. I still have dreams of smoke, alarms, and shock as the Normandy falls. Rescued, only to find out Shepard has fallen with the Normandy. The body has been delivered to Cerberus. Now, I only have two on my mind and I will find them both. Shadow Broker. Feron.

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**Ashley**

I couldn't save her. I couldn't save Kaidan or my squad on Eden Prime, and even though she saved me, I couldn't return the favor. I feel like I am losing everyone close to me because I am not strong enough. I did all I could after her death. I work for the Alliance and I will always be a soldier. She opened new doors for me by taking me with her on the Normandy, and I won't waster it. I will become stronger. Strong enough to save those who need me.

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**Garrus**

I didn't take the news of Shepards death well. I tried to stay at C-sec, but nobody was listening. I was going to go crazy. My bags are packed, my ticket bought. I am going to make a difference in the galaxy my way. No red tape. I will remember what Shepard taught me though. That is why I chose this destination. Omega.


End file.
